Indiana Jones

For the first time in nineteen years a new Indiana Jones movie came out in theaters this week. I was only six when Last Crusade came out and I don’t think I saw it until video so this was gonna be my first chance to see Indy on the big screen. Not that I’m a nut about the trilogy or anything. I’m honestly not even sure I’ve seen all of Temple of Doom. I am a big fan of Steven Spielberg and have loved nearly all of his output from this decade with the exception of The Terminal and Munich. So for those reasons, Tara and I went to the Arclight on Wednesday day night to catch the 12:18am showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

I was hoping for two things. One- that there would be a ton of people there as excited as schoolgirls to see this movie. Two- that the film itself would be at least moderately entertaining. Well, on the first count the Arclight delivered. There were no less than eight showings around midnight and every one of them must have been sold out because the place was packed. Check it.

In the courtyard there they had numerous snakes and lizards that you could take pictures with and hold but I didn’t do any of that because I, like Jones, hate snakes. There were dozens of big, slimy bastards in the area. What if one or two got loose? Anyway, there were also at least ten or fifteen people dressed up like Indiana and it was pretty easy to tell which were doing it ironically and which were genuinely thinking it might be the coolest thing they’ve done in a while. I was happy to see it either way since I was hoping some of their excitement would rub off on me. I was pretty sure the movie itself wasn’t going to make me rediscover the magic of going to the cinema like a kid again so it was up to the freaks to provide that.

Sure enough, the second part of my expectations were not met. This is not a good movie and maybe if you are a die-hard fan you can find things to like and persuade yourself that it’s not so bad, but really it is. Look no further than the scene where Shia LaBeouf defeats some bad guys with the help of an army of CGI monkeys to see just how wrong-headed this entire endeavor is. Very poor stuff from Sir Stevey and probably his worst film since Hook.

Check out my friend Leslye’s review for the perspective of a big-time Indy nut. Now this video below represents something I can get excited about.

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One Response to Indiana Jones

  1. Dugan says:

    This movie was a pile of turds and you nailed it – they jumped the shark for me when Indy’s kid learns how to swing from goddamn monkeys.

    The end of the movie was almost as bad.

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